Invisible
by Rockinmuffin
Summary: No matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I want to... I could never hate Tohru. After all, how could I hate the girl that brought such a beautiful smile to Yuki’s face? onesided OCxYuki, YukixTohru. OC centric.


Yes, this one-shot is OC oriented. I realize that most people don't like OC's, especially since most turn out to be Mary Sues, but I guarantee you that this is no Mary Sue story. The OC doesn't end up getting the man of her dreams; no one ends up falling in love with her. Heck, the OC doesn't even have a name of her own.

This is basically a story told from the OC's point of view; a poor girl that's in love with a man who's in love with another. She has to deal with all the feelings overflowing inside her. I think nearly everyone can relate to what she goes through.

And, just as a warning, this story is basically just a bunch of nearly pointless ramblings, but love does have that effect on people, eh?

Pairings: OCxYuki (one-sided), YukixTohru

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, but I _DO_ have a banana and I _KNOW_ how to use it! **(Waves banana threateningly at readers)

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There he is: Yuki Sohma, our school's very own Prince Charming. It's no wonder why they call him that; he's kind, smart, mysterious, athletic, and not to mention drop-dead gorgeous. It's also no surprise why nearly half the entire female population at our school fawns over him and have even committed themselves to creating their very own fan club dedicated to him. There are even some men in our school that have fallen for his charm.

He's every girl's dream.

There's just something about him; it's a rather complicated thing to explain. Whenever he talks to you your heart flutters and you feel butterflies flapping about in your stomach nervously. Your knees go weak and your breath hitches in your throat. Your skin heats up and your face flushes. Beads of sweat slowly but surely form on your forehead and you suddenly discover that you've lost the ability to speak coherent words.

He has that kind of effect on people.

And when he smiles… How can I even begin to describe it? When he smiles, it seems to light up the whole room and even though it only lasts for a few seconds, it feels as if time itself freezes and that the moment lasts forever. …And in your mind you hope and wish and pray that it _will_ last forever.But of course, all good things must come to an end, and his smile disappears and the room is once again shrouded in darkness.

Though… as beautiful as his smile was, it always seemed so… forced, fake even. Though his smiles were absolutely dazzling and breath-taking, his eyes; those deep, dark pools of saddened violet; they showed an entirely different story. He put up a good front and was able to fool the majority of his peers, but his eyes revealed all his sadness to me… all his dark secrets… They told me a story; they sang to me his song of deep inner sorrow and I could do nothing but listen to it sadly, wishing that I could somehow heal that pain that was eating away at his heart.

That's how it used to be… That's how it always was not long ago. He would act as if nothing was wrong, act as if he was perfectly fine and that he hadn't a care in the world, but his eyes gave it away every time. He would smile that sad, miserable smile and no one could make the pain go away. That's how it was before _she_ became close to him.

Before Yuki Sohma befriended Tohru Honda.

It started out innocent enough; she started walking to school with him, talking to him when no one else dared to even get near him for fear of the awesome wrath of his fan club. Eventually I discovered that Tohru was living in the Sohma household since she had nowhere else to go. They became closer and closer and soon friendship started to bud between them and it almost seemed as if they were inseparable. It seemed as if they were something more than friends. Something so much more…

And then, one day… she made him smile. Not his sad-eyed, woeful smile but a real, honest-to-God smile. I had thought before that nothing could surpass the majesty of his old smile; the smile that had the unusual ability to brighten anyone's day, to lighten anyone's heart and send it soaring. But his old smile didn't do this new smile any justice. Whenever I got the chance to see that smile it made me feel happy, incredibly blissful, even though I knew it was some other woman that made him feel so cheerful. I was still happy even though it was some other girl that could draw such a reaction from him… and not me.

And yet… Even though I felt joyful, elated for Yuki and his newfound happiness, there was a part of me; a shallow, ugly part of me that I wish never existed; that was angry. I felt angry at Tohru, jealous that she could bring such a reaction from him when I had tried and failed at it so many times before. How was it that she, such a simple-minded girl, could make him so happy without even trying? How could she make him so happy by just being there, by being herself? She was a complete bubble-brain; none too bright and the biggest klutz you'd ever seen.

I tried to hate her, tried to despise her for winning the affections of the boy that I longed had for almost all my life, tried to loathe her for acting so sweet and innocent when in truth she was just as dirty and ugly and tainted as everyone else… Or so I told myself. I tried to hate her for taking a place in Yuki's heart when I loved him so much.

But… I couldn't.

No matter how hard I tried to convince myself to do so, I just couldn't hate Tohru Honda. She's an orphan, yet she always finds something to be happy about, something to smile at despite all the painful memories she harbors inside of her heart. She would always act so polite, so kind that it was hard to just keep myself from falling in love with the girl. She wasn't even aware that Yuki felt more for her than just friendship. No… No matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I want to… I could never hate Tohru.

After all, how could I hate the girl that brought such a beautiful smile to Yuki's face?

That's when I tried to convince myself to hate Yuki instead; he ignored me, ignored my affections for him and acted as if I didn't exist, as if I were invisible. He fell for another girl, a girl who's still blissfully unaware of that fact, when I was right here, so willing to be there for him. So willing to be with him. So willing to love him…

That proved to be even less successful than when I tried to hate Tohru. There was no way I could ever hate Yuki; I cared too deeply for him. I fell in love with him even though I knew he could never return my feelings. I fell in love with him even though I knew that my love for him would be an unrequited one. My own inner turmoil was no one's fault but my own.

If I should hate anyone… it should be myself.

I hate how I was stupid enough to fall for someone that could never love me the way I love him. I hate how I fell in love with someone that was in love with another. I hate how my heart aches in pain whenever I see Yuki and Tohru together, laughing, conversing, smiling. I hate how my subconscious forces me to dream of the boy I love only to have me awaken in a world where he could never be mine, to awaken to my nightmare. I hate how the darker, uglier side of me secretly envies Tohru and wishes that I could somehow take her place in Yuki's heart. And I hate how I was too cowardly to tell Yuki of my feelings for him while I still had the chance…

Yes… I'll channel all of the hate that I wanted to feel for Yuki and Tohru towards myself. I'll hate myself for being so stupid, for being such a nasty, selfish, ugly, dirty, tainted, jealous wench. I'll hate myself for being such a pathetic, pitiful excuse for a human being.

…And when I see Tohru and Yuki together… I promise I'll be happy for them; I'll be happy for Yuki.

As Yuki passes by, Tohru by his side, I wave to him, smiling to hide what my heart truly feels. He looks at me for a moment, trying to recognize me though I know he has no idea who I am, and smiles at me before he and Tohru walk off. It wasn't that sad, painful smile, but it was nothing compared to the smile that _she_ can bring forth from his dainty lips.

My heart starts to ache in pain; the pain that comes with every unrequited love. I feel my eyes well up with unshed tears. I never knew a broken heart could be this painful. I always thought it was just a metaphor used in sappy love songs, but my heart… It really feels as if it's been broken in half, as if it's been shattered into millions of tiny pieces that have been scattered across the floor.

But I don't have time to fret over my own trivial pain; I need to spend this time being happy for Yuki. He's found someone that he can love, someone that can make the pain and sadness that was once hidden behind his eyes disappear. I have to be happy that Yuki found someone he can love… no matter how much it hurts because that someone isn't and could never be me. I have to be happy for Yuki even though his happiness hurts me so much on the inside.

I've heard talk from his fan club that they plan to try and separate Tohru from Yuki. They can't stand how Yuki could possibly fall in love with another because they all not-so-secretly love him. That's when I realized I was no better than them; obsessive over a boy even though he loved another. I can't even count how many times the ugly, selfish side of me wanted to do just that; to separate Yuki from Tohru so that I wouldn't have to be reminded every day of how he doesn't love me.

But I could never do that either. After seeing his dazzling, happy, love-filled smile, I couldn't stand to see it transform back into that sad smile; that false smile. Even though the love-filled smile wasn't directed towards me… I couldn't stand to see Yuki sad and miserable again. That would hurt ten times worse than a broken heart ever could.

As much as it pains me, as much as it eats me up inside… I just want Yuki to be happy.

If he's happy then at least I won't be entirely miserable. If I know that he can live the remainder of his life by the woman he cares for, by the woman he loves, by a woman that can love him… As long as Yuki is happy then I will be able to bear the pain of a broken heart. I can live peacefully knowing that Yuki has found true happiness… even if it isn't with me.

Yes, it's best this way.

In a way, I'm glad that Yuki fell in love with Tohru. She's probably the only girl that deserves his love and affection. She's probably the only girl that could comfort him when he's sad and depressed. She's the only one that could truly love him for who he is on the inside and not just for his looks. The only one that he could share his deepest, darkest secrets with.

After all… She was the only one that could make him smile like that…

As painful as it is, I know that I would be able to live on knowing that Yuki and Tohru ended up together. Yuki deserves Tohru and Tohru deserves Yuki. They were meant for each other; destined to be together. It's almost as if their love was written in the stars.

Yes… It's best that Yuki didn't fall in love with someone as dirty and ugly and tainted as me. It's best that I merely stand in the background and try to ignore my inner pain and jealousy in favor of being happy for Yuki. It's best that Yuki doesn't even know I exist; I'm sure he already has enough drama in his life. Yes… It's best that, to him, I am absolutely nothing. To him, I am…

Invisible.


End file.
